this is the story of a girl… who was tested and true

what if everything you belived in was a lie?

i always belived in fairytales. some may say it does not exist but hey, wonderland is the only place where
i can make things happen for my self! no rules. no regulations. it is my world. and no one can dictate me what to do
and wht to belive in. but there is one thing that makes wonderland a not so happy place. it only stays in my mind.
in my imagination. and it will stay there forever. it can never be real. then i stopped believing in fairytales.

for 1 year and 5 months, i was happy. not until today. when everything that i thought existed, very thing that
made me happy, the thing that made me soo proud about myself, that something that i thought was true was just a lie.

its nice to know that someone loves you. really sweet to know that somebody cares. just today, yeah because of my own fault
actually, i learned something that i must not. haha. learning all those, i thought i was soo stupid. i was such a big loser!
i cant beleive that i was fooled by someone that much. i thought it as magical and true and real but that thing may believe
that fairytale is too good to be true.

i shared this to my best friend, and she was also shocked. i dont know. she said maybe it wasnt true. maybe it was just a
cover up or something. but at that moment, hearing those lies made me happier more than ever…

if i was the old arla, i would have burst and create a really great riot but no. i didnt do that. i thought i was gonna cry
so hugged my best friend at the rain so that just incase my tear would fall, nobody would see it. no tear dropped my eye.
i was totally calm and i was just soo spirit filled

you see i no longer care if what i learned was true or not. if it is not, then fine. if it is true and then i would still be thankful because tht lie
was the one drew me closer to God. because of that lie i have a strong faith. because that lie made my relationship with God
even deeper, and with that lie, the Holy Spirit in me was tested and true

this is a story of a girl..who’s looking through the eyes of compassion

people change. absolutely. coz people around me are constantly changing. and for most, i love the changes in them and not everyone change for good, some change for bad. and worst is, i become judgmental to people change not in a good way.

sisa shared to me today how to look into the eyes of compassion. i always condemn people when they do things that is far from my perspective of what is right. like they re no longer accepted for me. that they are disgusting and they will forever stay that way. i never actually gave a room for improvement to anybody. but one thing i never realized is that once in my life was in their place. once in my life i was hated. at one moment in my life i was not at the  right track. for a time in my life i turned back from what i know is right. once in my life i also needed someone to believe in me. that there was a time of my life when i needed someone to look at me with compassion.

and a moment ago, while mng deck and i drove back home, we passed by a group of young man. smoking. and out of no where a familiar face was with the group. hnd niya ako nakita. and the slowly, i saw him drawing the cigar near his mouth. smoke came out. i almost cried. i cant believe what i just saw. that familiar face, was a friend, a very dear friend. and i love that friend.

that familiar face used to be the nice-funny guy. but he has changed. and i know what he needs most right now. someone to look at him with compassion.

this is the story of a girl…whenever you need somebody

Friend. someone who will listen to you. someone who cares. someone who can stand with you watever test you may encounter in life. someone who will tell you, “everything will be just fine.”

id love to be a friend to my friends.

=)

whenever you need somebody,

just come to my room:)

**i love you mara, everything will be fine

this is the story of a girl..who is BLESSED

its a day, just an ordinary day

september 15, 2008 it may be an ordinary day to some but hey… i’d say its pretty extra ordinary for me

so yeah the title said it all. today im blessed.

first thing, today i learned that arjay is now a part of the leadership team of high school. com’on arjay! more to come. and he’s going to undergo juno and kevin. who would have thought? the childlike little arjay is now going to handle his own life group. whoa! galing galing talaga ng holy spirit

secondly, janice opened up to me today. like it was little dramatic. but i was really honored kasi ako ung napili niyang pagsabihin ng mga un. and she asked me to share my faith she wated to be my God to be her God. naman! now i understand her better. now i believe i can get along with her better na

third thing, like the people i’ve been praying for to come to a fellowship with us (hannah,tony and janu) finally said yes for this friday. haha. ang happy :D:D more God, more! and hannah invited sopme other friends. weeeh! naaamoy ko na ang highschool team ng victory batac! haha. umayen-umayen

ikaapat, pastor george asked me that on friday the high scholl group will present a dance number. at first i was like, “ok sinong kukunin kong dancers?” but He really is great. nagdagsahan ng mga dancers:) volunteer dancers kahit si sisa pumayag sumayaw. oh di ba? haha. kaya yan sisa:D whats more to ask?? sobrang prinovide na ni God.

ika-lima, i tratrain ng music team sina arjay and gerwell ng guitar para daw makabuo kami sa high school ng own music team namin. grabe! super God really wants to move MMSU high school

sixth and the most unexpected and greatest blessing for me this day, cy asked me if he can come on friday if its ok with me . and i was like, “bakit mo tinatanung saken, everyone is welcome.” and yeah, today super napansin ko siya na kinukulit ako kung ano ang devotion, kung pano gumawa ng ganun, kung pano gawin yun and all that stuff. sabi pa niya, “i nid 2 get closer 2 God… knda lyk dat…” weeeeehhh!!! am super happy hearing from cyrus way to go cy

ang ika pito, nag kaka ayos na ang quadsen kaso medyo alitan naman kai ni ivah. i may have my reasons, and i may be right, but if i hurt her in the way i corrected her, then i am wrong.

unfailing love by chris tomlin

Unfailing Love

You have my heart and I am yours forever
You are my strength, God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hands
Still You make time for me
I can’t understand

(Chorus)
Praise You God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God you remain
The Holy One of my unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock the One I hold onto
You are my song and I sing for You

And everything You hold in Your hands
Still you make time for me
I can’t understand

Praise You God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God you remain
The Holy One of my unfailing love
Unfailing love

And everything You hold in Your hands
Still you make time for me
I can’t understand

Praise You God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God you remain
The Holy One of my unfailing love
Unfailing love

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this is the story of a girl : from success to significance

its 9:08 in the evening and i know im suppose to be sleeping by now coz i’ll be having my acet exam tomorrow. haha. this is really funny coz im taking up acet with totally no review. haha. like compared to the upcat. well, Godbless to me

and yeah im blogging about how God showed me who i was before and who i am (suppose) to be now. for the past days i need to admit that my spiritual walk was crucial. aside from business, emotional combats hindered me from seeking God. and funny how God really works and touch lives.

i always consider friday as the renewal of spirit. and i just wanted to share to you how God revealed Himself to me over and over again.

during the worship song… God keeps on flashing this place i use to live in. darkness, pain, sruggle… and i dont wanna go back there. like NEVER again! and as much as i dont want to, am afraid coz i feel like am going back to that same place. i feel like the enemy is pulling me back and i cant fight back. the force thats pulling me away is too stronger that i cant resist.

but the good news is, God is greater than this world

by the grace of God i am freed by the grace of God i can once again clap, dance, and worship Him fully by the grace of God i will never go back to that place of fear and darkness by the grace of God i am changed by the grace of God i had emotional healing.

and thanks to my nanays, ate anne and ate inah for continually praying for me (us, in the HS) and guiding every step of my journey, and for training me to Honor God and Make Disciples.

this is a story of a girl : September 11,2008

happy birthday mon :):):):)

happy birthday sir marcos :):):)

so today was a holiday for the province of ilocos norte to commemorate the 91st birthday of the late president marcos. and lady marcos still looks young. i wonder how old she is now considering that mr marcos would have been 91 today. soo they had this one day program and lots of marcos loyalist from different places came to our town.

in the afternoon we went to the center. wala lang nangulit doon. hehe. and we had the chapter 11 of our one to one.  waaaahhh!! isang chapter nalang well yeah sisa,sha and i have matured since we staerted one to one with ate ina. si ate anne na kasi nag uundergo samin ngayon kasi ate inah is like busy. so the 3 of us have 2 nanays nangulit din kami sa practice ng talents inC. haha. sasayaw sila ng no air sa youth service bukas

mimay and adan are somehow *SOMEHOW* fine today. we went out as one group (not quadsen) but they are not talking. haha. like may ilangan. but i know mag kaka ayos din yang dalwang yan:) and adan was super cute kanina, he was trying to talk to mimay. hahaha. si mimay naman maarte, daming pa effect. oh well, the right time will come for the both of them

i miss joy mina, like hindi ko siya nakasama the whole day. like hindi ko naman siya namiss nung pumunta siya sa isabela. haha. ewan. i miss you today pakner.

this is the story of a girl : September 10, 2008

happy birthday gloreen :):):) haha. i was expekting for a chibuug amiga. haha. dami kasing pa efek nito na mahirap na daw and buhay ngayon. haha. =))

like super nakakainis ang araw na toh! ang daming plastic! get real people! urgh. like duh, bat ba sila super affected eh hnd naman sila ang tinutukoy??? and sila pa ang may ganang magalit. hurf. i cant understand peoples attitude :( wag kasi kayong makisangkot sa away ng iba. lalo niyo lang pinapalaki. kung gusto niyo ng drama sa buhay niyo mag create kayo ng sarili niyong drama!!!!!! opportunista!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! galit ako sayo ngayon. hmmmm… ang bad. like kami nalng ni sha and mimay ang natira. huhuhu. i love you guys.

well aside from that irritating opportunist marami panamang nangyari sa araw ko. i’ve heard soo much about other people and i cant help but believe it.  parang nakaka turn off na ewan. ano to pinag lalaruan ang mga feelings ng tao??? grabe naman ang mga tao. tsktsk. get lost people. alam niyo kung pano masaktan. grabe talaga!!!!!!!! nakakainis. *somethings are confidential thats why i cant blog it, sorry*

wala na daw ang quadsen

nag date kami ulet ni mara ngayon. with some first year students and we totally bonded with them. it was cool. they were nice.

i miss mng jeth

who wants to be a Filipino?

“If you were to be reincarnated and given the choice, would you opt
to be Filipino again?”

It was from an article from the Youngblood by Herdy L. Yumul. After reading that article, I gave yes as my answer. I know then and there that it is but right to be proud that I am a Filipino. This is my color. This is what I got to be. But at the back of my mind, I know I was being a hypocrite! I could see from the way I talk, the way I wear my clothes and from my idea of what is good and beautiful. I’ve know for myself that I always wanted to be an American. I’ve been to the United States and I really can’t deny that United States is a wonderland compared to the Philippines.

Filipinos are officially defined as domestic helpers internationally. We are always looked down upon by foreigners. I wish they we’re just referring to the hellish traffic, hellish climate, hell-sent politicians, gangsters in uniform, massive unemployment, inhumane poverty, identity crisis, a tradition of mediocrity. Get real. Who would want to be a Filipino? Maybe the Chua’s, the Cojuangco’s, the Sy’s whose surname do not sound Filipino at all. But this Agrupis, no.

I am really a pessimist when it comes to the fate of the Filipino. I feel like there is no more hope, no new dawn to come for this nation, that we will be forever cluttered in darkness. But then I realized that it’s true that most people can’t help but fell pessimistic about where the Philippines is going. But this kind of attitude wanting to jump ship instead of trying to save it from sinking is what will ultimately bring down the country and prevent any hope of improving our image and quality of life from ever becoming a reality.

I always believed that the Filipinos have the means, the skills, the talents and capabilities to be the best in the world. We have an advantage over most other people and countries. We’re not afraid to get our hands dirty. We’re more than willing to put in a little more effort than anyone else. We know where we came from, where we’ve been, and where we want to go and what we have to do make our ideas and dreams into realities. We have the drive to be better than the rest and we never settle for less.

Every country deals with this situation. And this situation builds a tough nation. Who would still believe in what we can do and what we can accomplish? Who would still trust if we can be bigger and better than the rest? Who will prove that that the Philippines will be taken out of obscurity? Who needs to consider that the Philippines can still make an impact and a difference in our world? Filipinos.

I want to be a part of that generation who will hand in hand build this land into a better nation. My culture is not anything to be ashamed of. My heritage is something to be really proud of. For that case, If there is any reason I try to do well in this life, it is in the hope that in my next, I would still be a Filipino.

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GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THEN YOU LOVE THEM!!!